This Must Be How It Feels

So there's Christmas lights and a tree up in the cafeteria already.

'Tis the season.

Come on, people. One holiday at a time. Thanksgiving is still on its way and we're already baking cookies and singing carols. Slow down. I need my turkey and my pumpkin pie. Don't rush me.

I get to head home tomorrow for the first time in three months. I'm really excited. Okay, that's maybe not the right word. Honestly, I'm not sure how to handle it. I've developed a whole new routine since I got to Trinity, and it's going to be weird leaving it behind, if only for a few days. It's as I've developed two separate lives: one at home and one back in Grand Rapids.

I just called Trinity home. That in itself is strange. Home, where I only know about 40% of the people around me, where my meals are either ramen or food from the cafeteria, where I sleep an average of five hours a night, regardless of when I go to bed. What happened to spending every waking moment with my closest friends Jared, Seth, and Luke? What happened to home-cooked meals, dinner around the table with my family? What happened to getting a night of sleep without waking up freezing, burning, or in a panic?

Is that not home anymore?

Now I'm going home home, and as much as I can't wait to scoop up my little brother and fist bump the twins, I'm a little anxious. I've barely talked to anyone from home in weeks, and I've of course heard friends talk about how they barely know their older siblings because they went off to college. That's a scary thought, and it's honestly the only thing that initially held me back from going to Trinity.

And because I'm working the days after Thanksgiving, there's little or no time to catch up with the dozens of people messaging me, saying "When will you be home? We need to hang out!" Sorry to disappoint some of you, but I'm going to have about literally 4 hours to chill with people, and there's already a wait list.

I guess this is just part of growing up. I have to keep reminding myself that as of August 28, 2013 I am a legal adult. Weird.

But hey. God's got this. I'm excited. I get to see my brothers again, and we'll be Minecrafting it up just like old times, making obscure movie references and providing endless sarcastic commentary on everything Mom says. Ah, the memories. :)

Today's song: To Have a Home, by Darren Criss. I just really love this song. For those of you who don't know, it's from A Very Potter Sequel, the second installment of A Very Potter Musical. If you're a Harry Potter fan and you don't mind the occasional off-color joke, it's absolutely hilarious. Take a look at the lyrics. It's good stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uesDv58ZLZE

Alright, I'm calling it a night. Adventure awaits tomorrow! ALLONS-Y!!!

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Staying Home Sick

Well, no one can say I didn't try.

I drank plenty of water, got more than enough vitamin C, made sure to get a decent night of sleep, and somehow the cold still got the best of me. This morning I woke up for my 9:00 AM class and immediately decided that I was not going to class today. My head was pounding, my sinuses were clogged, and I was really sore.

It's been a few hours and I've gotten plenty more sleep. My headache has subsided to a dull murmur and I'm significantly less sore. My sinuses are still pretty rough, but they're starting to clear.

In the meantime, I've spent my day contacting my professors, watching Doctor Who, and drinking large quantities of chamomile. That stuff works wonders, I tell you. The tea is nice too.

After the ridiculous stress of this week it's honestly nice to have a day entirely to myself. Solitude is a blessing in a world where you never know when thirty people are going to invade the room next door. It gives me a chance to recharge that even the weekend can't provide. I've actually completed a lot of tasks, and now I can rest and relax.

Tomorrow is laundry day. I've put it off for far too long.

I really don't have much else to say. It's been an uneventful day. Here, have a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2Bu0Vb8Glw

So much chill.

That's all I got.

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Love and Judgment: Why I'm Sick of Stereotypes

So today I had an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of my good friends who tweeted something that instantly made my blood boil. As it turned out, the statement was completely justified (just confusing out of context) and I apologize for my outburst, but it got me thinking. 

One thing that has been weighing pretty heavily on my heart lately is that of identity. College is a time for people to discover who they are and what they want their lives to look like. I feel that I've done a lot of that in my first few months of college, but in doing so I've noticed a trend. There's a specific aspect of who I am that seems to instantly change people's perceptions of me: my faith.

And the crowd goes wild. Oh, shut up, they say. Christians are the judgmental ones. 

Do people even know what judgment is anymore? 

There's a difference between passing judgment and disagreeing with someone. Example: when one of my very good atheist friends tells me he doesn't believe in God, does that mean he's "judging" my religion? Of course not! He's simply stating a fact of his beliefs, which I respect. And if I disagree and say "I believe there's a God", am I judging him? No! Do I feel the need to "correct" him and force him to believe what I do? Nope. I don't judge. 

Yet somehow, as a Christian, people assume I'm passing judgment. 

Judgment is a legal term that has nothing to do with opinion. You could replace it with the word sentencing. But in today's day and age, we use the word judgment as a childish argument for why someone is wrong. If a stranger has a differing belief from yours, well then, they're clearly judging you, and therefore you have the moral high ground and this makes you right. It's a pathetic argument and holds no logical weight, yet somehow it's generally accepted as a higher form of debate. 

By those standards, isn't a stranger calling me judgmental... judgmental? 

Here's where things get tricky, though. As Christians, we believe in a God who does judge. He made the rules, so He calls the shots. As creator He told us what was right and wrong, so as believers we logically have to believe that if He's right, people are wrong. It's fundamental to believing anything: you have to think it's true. If you don't, how can you say you believe it? If an atheist said they believed in a god, they wouldn't be an atheist, now would they? 

So you see my dilemma. I can stand up and be called a judgmental bigot (among other things), or I can submit and turn in my Christian card. 

I've chosen my path, and it's not without its struggles. The simple statement "I'm a Christian" or even the mention of a controversial issue with no opinion at all has evoked some intriguing responses. I love the ones that feature profanities. I also love when people tell me to stop acting all "holier than thou", as if a) I use a King James Bible and b) I'm somehow acting like a perfect little child. Those same people generally assume I've never done a rebellious thing in my life. It's as if they believe the statements they use to call me a hypocrite. They tell me to stop pretending to be perfect, and yet at the same time they really think I am. 

Anyone who thinks I'm a perfect person has clearly never met me. It's honestly the most isolating feeling when you're hurting and people who know nothing about you tell you your struggles are nothing because as a Christian you can't have done anything that bad. Believe me, that's a lie.  

Now I'm certainly not speaking for every Christian on the planet. I will submit that there are too many Christians who are cruel in their beliefs. They do truly pass judgment on people, instead of leaving God to do His job. These people make real Christians sick, and it's a poor reflection of the greater body of Christ. A good example is Westboro Baptist. They profess to be Christians, but they don't reflect Christ's love in any way. They simply condemn people for their sins. Honestly, the kind of people Westboro would judge the most are some of my best friends. They are the strongest, most loving, caring, amazing people I know. I owe them so much. 

It also doesn't help that so many people aren't proud of their faith. They constantly put down other Christians and act like it's all a stupid game, but then you talk to them and realize they are true Christians.That sometimes bothers me more than anything else. It's like wearing your team's jersey to a game and then putting on a jacket and cheering for the other team. With religion, it's all or nothing. 

Needless to say, Christians are not perfect. That much is without doubt. But that's the point of Christianity. We're broken, and God fixes us. We can't fix each other, and to try to do so isn't how we should operate. Instead, we should be mindful of the Holy Spirit's influence on our lives and let God do the healing. We're called to love, not judge. 

Today's song: City on Our Knees by Tobymac. It's a song about unity. God reaching down to touch our sinful world "in a glorious display". The most relevant line I think: "It's all love tonight, as we step across the line." Regardless of religion, race, age, gender, or sexuality, I think we can all agree that if everyone took a step out in love, the world would be a much happier place. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlaKYbG5Bq0

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

A Shotgun, a Beer, and the Gospel

Gran Torino is one of those movies that improves with age, both of the film itself and that of the viewer.

For those of you who haven't seen it, it's Clint Eastwood as an aging Korean War veteran living in a gang-infested inner city neighborhood. It's full of adult language and a ridiculous number of racial slurs (Eastwood's character is extremely racist), but it's nonetheless an amazing film. I watched it with my dad a few years back, and it has now become a rite of passage in the Piersma household because of the deep symbolism hidden in it. Those of you who don't want spoilers, turn back now.

Walt Kowalski lives alone. He hates his family, he's bitter towards God, and he's haunted by his memories of the war. His life consists of drinking beer on his porch and fixing his Gran Torino (that's a really nice old car). All that changes when some Hmong immigrants move in next door. After their son Thao is pressured by his gang leader cousin to steal Walt's car, the family commissions him to work for Walt in payment for his crimes. Despite his initial displeasure, Walt takes the would-be thief under his wing and teaches him how to be a real man, giving him useful life skills and showing him how to stand up for himself. In turn, Walt himself learns to let go of his own racism (aside from his incessant use of racial slurs) and becomes good friends with his neighbors.

When the Hmong gang shoots up the neighbors' house in an attempt to get revenge on Thao (Walt humiliates them multiple times through clever banter and demonstrating his prowess with a gun), Walt prepares to enact vengeance. He tricks Thao into staying behind by locking him in the basement and goes to face the gang alone.

This scene is the most important moment of the entire movie.

Walt stands in front of the gang's house and names their sins. As the neighbors gather at their windows, Walt reaches into his jacket. Thinking he has a gun, the gangsters open fire on him, killing him instantly. As he falls, he lands on his back, arms spread wide, blood trickling down his wrists.

As it turns out, he never even had a gun.

He was reaching for his lighter to smoke one last cigarette.

And as he fell to the ground, he landed in the shape of a cross, blood running from his hands.

Now tell me Clint Eastwood isn't trying to make a point.

It's not entirely clear what that point is at first. Judging by his character's statements early on, Eastwood hates God. God is useless. God is dead. But in some way, somehow, for some unknown reason, Walt becomes Christ for his friends. The symbolism is far too obvious to be coincidental. Walt's body is broken, and in that brokenness Thao and his family find freedom. There's even the parallel of Christ's hands bleeding on the cross when Walt hits the ground. Eastwood is intentionally using Christian imagery here. Like Jesus, Walt knew he had no hope of survival. But he also knew that his death would bring judgment on the people who hurt his new family. There were plenty of witnesses, and his lack of a gun guaranteed their incrimination. He sacrificed himself, an innocent, to save his friends.

But hold on, you say. How can you compare a hateful, bitter old racist to the perfect Son of God? And I respond by asking how did Saul, torturer and murderer of Christians, become Paul, the most celebrated evangelist of all time? We emulate Christ. It's what we were meant to do. That doesn't mean we all have to throw ourselves in front of a speeding bullet, but we can all learn to sacrifice for the sake of others. Regardless of our sins, regardless of our pasts, regardless of our circumstances, we can do good in this world through Christ who strengthens us.

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

The Eagles Are Coming!

So I've had at least a dozen people ask me this question upon being told my Twitter handle or blog URL: "Eagles are coming? What the heck does that mean?" 

Those are the kind of people I shoot on sight. 

Just kidding. But seriously. Those of you who know me pretty well know that I'm a HUGE Lord of the Rings fan. My father read Tolkien's books to me when I was very young and I fell in love with them. Even at a young age of six I avidly followed the production of the film adaptations, and saw the second two in theatres. I now watch them on an almost weekly basis and read the books at least twice a year.

The phrase "the eagles are coming" is a reference to the end of both The Hobbit and The Return of the King. In both books, the characters find themselves in over their heads, fighting off hordes of enemies but quickly losing hope. It is at this point that the massive eagles that inhabit the mountains of Middle Earth arrive and save the day. Invariably, someone yells out "The eagles! The eagles are coming!"

So now you know. I'm a huge Tolkien fan, and this is my homage to his work. 

But there's more to the story. 

More than once in the last year or so I've found myself in over my head. Like, majorly over my head. But like the eagles in Tolkien's tales, God invariably comes to my rescue. Note the phrasing here: the eagles are coming. The eagles aren't here yet. They might not show up in time to stop the pain. People might die. But it doesn't matter. They are on the way. There's hope. In this same way, God doesn't always show up when I want Him to. But as much as I resent Him in that time, He always arrives at the right time. In the words of Gandalf, "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to!" 

Why the poem, you ask? Well, regardless of whether you asked or not, I'm telling you. This is my blog and I'll do what I like with it. I don't need your approval. 

The poem is also a Tolkien bit from The Fellowship of the Ring. I may be young but I've been down a lot of roads. Some of them were good; others ended in pain and forced me to turn back. The point is, no matter what hardships we face, the Road goes ever on and on. Life doesn't slow up just because we don't like how it's going. There's always a chance for a new start. A grand adventure may be waiting just around the corner. And whatever happens, be it good or bad, I must follow the Road if I can. 

Song for today: May It Be by Enya. This song is featured at the end of the film adaptation of The Fellowship of the Ring. Take a look at the lyrics if you get a chance. It's good stuff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP9Zj1CkPy8

That's all I've got for tonight. God bless!

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Things That Didn't Happen Today

There are a lot of things that did not occur today. This is a small sampling of the things that did not occur.

Things that didn't happen:

1. Me getting up for theology: my alarm was improperly set (stupid AM/PM settings) and I therefore missed today's first class. Bleh. Honestly, I'm really upset about it. I can't really afford to keep missing it.

2. My head working properly: waking up with a headache is no fun.

2. Intellectual conversations with Krajecki: "Jeremiah, as we all know, was a prophet. And he was one hell of a prophet, I tell yah."

3. Me properly numbering this list: Notice the two twos. I feel intelligent.

4. Appearance of a inter-dimensional space whale through a wormhole in the back of Sociology: Granted, the chances of a humpback spontaneously developing the ability to survive in a vacuum and traverse time and space were unlikely even in the grand scale of an infinite universe, but hey. It certainly would have made class more interesting.

5. The girl in the back of class silencing her phone's camera: Awkward.

6. Kubiske showing up for lunch or class: Where is that kid? Probably sleeping. He does that.

7. Me thinking of a decent topic to write about: You, know, actually, I kind of like this one. It really reflects the scattered-ness of my thoughts right now. Moose.

That's all I have to say for now. Song for today: It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine) by REM. Considering the storms from yesterday, I'd say it's appropriate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY

Later, people. Nathan Piersma, signing off!

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Rain and Renewal

I love rain. Rain cleanses. Rain renews.

The sound of rain emanates peace. 

It's a reminder of the way God renews us every day. Even when we're the most lost and afraid, God rains down love and peace upon us. Today I got to bask in the peace of Christ, and it was beautiful. 

Today I woke up at about 11:00 and went to the laundry room. Everyone else in South Hall was either home for the weekend or still asleep, so I sat in solitude, eating oatmeal and reading Game of Thrones. It was honestly a really refreshing break from the hectic social setting of college life. At around 1:00 I went upstairs and found Sierra, and we watched Jurassic Park. Sierra had never seen this particular movie, and while I had, I had not watched it in recent history. This led to some ridiculous jump scares and screaming from Sierra, which of course led to some ridiculous laughter from me. Maybe she'll forgive me sometime before we graduate.

Afterward, me, Tater, and Sierra were bored. So we grabbed some books and had a reading party. The titles: Game

of Thrones, The Hunger Games, and Ender's Game.

After this we gathered the troops (which consisted of me, Potato, Sierra, and Sherlock) and went to dinner. The cafeteria was aglow with Christmas lights, which reflected off the massive windows around the room and created a shimmering, almost magical atmosphere. I hadn't eaten all day, so I devoured two chicken wraps, two orders of fries, an entire Belgian waffle, and a slice of apple pie. Needless to say, it was a good meal. At this point Mal-Mal, Krajecki, and Anneliese returned, and after some socializing we headed back to South. 

From here Sierra, Mal-Mal, and I departed for Walmart. There we spent our time foraging for cheap food, trying on fuzzy hats, and digging to the bottom of the $5 movie bins. We surfaced with Saving Private Ryan, Burlesque, Gran Torino, and In Time. After a nice walk in the rain from the store to our car (conveniently parked at the other end of the known universe) we drove back to campus. 

We parked at the BBC and prepared for a long, cold trek home. However, our luck improved when a campus security Gator pulled up next to us. The guy inside asked if we wanted a ride, and so we pulled up to South Hall in style, soaked from sitting in the open bed of the cart but dying of laughter from the joy of the ride. 

Now I'm sitting on the top bunk typing away, back to the window, listening to the rains pour down outside. We're setting up for a massive movie marathon that's probably going to last all night. I'm excited. Across the hall Erin's room is a flurry of activity. She and Anneliese simply can't stand each other any longer, so Anneliese and Krajecki are switching rooms. I think everyone's happy with the move. The shrieks of laughter coming from Erin and Krajecki confirm this. 

So I'm signing off for the night! It's been a great day of renewal and rest that I've been sorely in need of. Song for this post: A Day Without Rain by Enya. Dad used to play this on dark, rainy Saturday mornings when I was little. The sound of it still brings back the same sense of peace and tranquility I felt back in those days. It's a tradition I'll be continuing for a very long time to come. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDgbEexEHOY

Goodnight, everyone! And may the peace of Christ be with you. 

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.