Lazy Days

I've forgotten how much I love weekends.

That's not to say I haven't enjoyed the last few weekends, because I have. I've had a great time!

But you can't appreciate order without first understanding chaos.

Friday was my first day of classes. Five classes in a row is not going to be easy. I'm only one day in and I already have a full homework load. Keeping track of all of my classes as well as the other responsibilities I have as a college student might just be the death of me.

But that's okay, because this kind of weekend brings me life.

Today I woke up feeling more rested than I have in weeks. I took my time getting up, listening to some music and checking in on my roommates. Then I gathered two books, a mug, and an assortment of teas and made the trek up to Sierra's room. We built a fort out of her bunk and some blankets, using a heated blanket for the floor and hanging Japanese lanterns on the ceiling. Once construction was complete, we curled up with some snacks and read for hours! It was a perfect afternoon.

After dinner, me and the guys went to Target to pick up some supplies. My best purchase: a giant pitcher of orange juice. Now that I have to get up at 8:00, I'm gonna try to get decent sleep and eat a bit healthier than I did this last semester.

Now we're all just hanging out, laughing and eating Swedish fish. It's a good night.

I'm excited for this new semester! Here's to new beginnings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tiPAvmy3eA

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Warning: This Post Is Entirely Pointless

*Note* Please play this song in the background while reading this latest post. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgkRqNBIqLQ

I was told by my Writing Workshop instructor that in order to grow as a writer, I have to write every day,

I thought about that for a time, then promptly dismissed the idea and thought about something else. 

So with that in mind, welcome to today's episode of Random Rambling Thursday! 

Today was the first day of the new semester. New classes, new professors, new experiences. Unless of course, you're me, and unlike the rest of the world you don't have classes on Thursday. If that is the case (which is unlikely unless you are in fact me and therefore exist in some parallel universe), you instead have tea, ramen, and Avatar: The Last Airbender to look forward to. 

Personally, I much prefer this option. 

Something I've made note of in the last twelve hours: if you're ever having trouble sleeping, open Minecraft to the main menu and crank the volume. It periodically plays relaxing piano music that will put you to sleep instantly.

My latest addiction is League of Legends. Thank you Jennifer VanderMolen and Ben Waalkes for introducing me to it. I have to say, though, lately I've been craving a decent adventure/platformer game. If anyone could suggest something in the spirit of Super Mario Sunshine or Ty the Tasmanian Tiger for PC, I would be greatly in their debt. I will also accept N64 games, as I've discovered a decent emulator for it. 

I've also been on a bit of a music kick in the last few days. I might even break out the old violin at some point. Sorry in advance, roommates. I"m a little rusty. 

Well, I'm officially bored out of my skull. Later, people. 

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Walls Fall Down

Class is now in session.

I'm in the back row, as usual. Everyone is here for this one final day. We've been writing for weeks, and now all that work comes to fruition.

But it's not the triumph we all expected. The excerpts we're sharing are just that: excerpts, pieces, fragments of stories and memories that will never do the voices in our minds justice. We do our best to get what's in our heads out on paper, but you can't share the adventure of a lifetime in five minutes. Two pages isn't enough to space build a universe. Hollow words on a white page can't express the depth and darkness of a memory.

Each piece we read today is one side, one facet, of the people we've been working with for the last two weeks. We've been together for hours, silently sitting side by side. Now the walls fall down. Now, for the first time, we see each other. We see the vast imagination and curiosity of the quiet boy in the back of class with me, bringing out the world he's brought to life. We see the beautifully cruel interplay of love and hate in the older woman in the corner by the instructor's desk, strong even in the face of pain. We see the dreams and desires of the girl up front, brimming with ambition and confidence.

And I wonder to myself: when I share my newly crafted world, what will people see in me?

Song for today: Glass House by Red. These guys get to the heart of the Christian experience, and I love how they can write songs that appeal to anyone, whether Christian or not. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlB592l8SZ4

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

A World Of Possibilities

I'm sitting in the lab, curled up on a spinning office chair, laptop squeezed onto the desk in front of the dusty desktop computer provided for my writing. I love my laptop. My laptop has feelings, memories. The contraption on the desk is a monstrosity of unfamiliar keys and cords. I have a preference for the simplicity of a compact screen, a universe of wealth stored on a folding keyboard. 

All around me I hear the familiar, soothing sound of keyboards clacking. It's honestly one of the most relaxing sounds on earth. When the sound of keys drowns out the sounds of life I know that all around me life is being formed. Worlds are being designed, personalities created and recreated, universes discovered. The infinite majesty of fact and fiction, all converging in the mind of a single person, only to flow outward onto a blank page where it can live forever. 

When I write, I return to a world all my own. I know this world well. It's the world that constantly swirls through my mind, drawing on everything I've ever learned or known and spinning it into a silken web of inspiration. Each idea is connected in some way to the others, and a subtle change in one sends a tremor down the line to each other, slowly evolving each idea to perfection. Some days I can only see this world, soaring through the dark reaches of my mind like a meteor through space. Other days it comes hurtling down to Earth and I can reach out and touch it, harvesting its fruit. 

But that isn't enough. The fruit has to be refined, the pit removed and the seeds scattered to sow more ideas. Sometimes other fruits have to make their way into the mix. I have to learn to craft recipes from the fledgling ideas that make their way from the recesses of my brain to the forefront of my mind. Often days will go by and my fingers won't put forth a single fragment of speech. Like all great art, writing cannot be rushed.

So I sit here with others like me, a room full of master craftsmen of the written word. They are my greatest allies even though I don't know many of their names. We are conspirators, a network of those who have had a glimpse of another world and wish to bend it to our will. We trade secrets, pass along ideas, build each other up as well as tear each other down. Sometimes, when one of us thinks we've built up a perfect tower of words, another architect will pull out the cornerstone and tell us that it's lopsided. The tower falls down, but we are not discouraged. Instead we begin to rebuild, pressing on to greater glory and splendor. 

In this way we reflect the great Creator, the one who tears us down to build us up. We love to write because the Word is our strength. We hope to see our words take flesh, but none will ever do so as perfectly and as beautifully as the Word itself. That Word took what was a broken, collapsing tower and tore it apart, giving it a fresh start and a chance at even greater majesty. 

There's a sound from outside my mind's workshop. Instantly I feel the gravity of our world take hold and I ascend rapidly from the depths of my universe. The spell is broken for a moment. I glance around, my co-conspirators still lost in their creations. I have to return to my work. I breathe deeply, place my hands on the keyboard and take the plunge. 

My song for today: Babel by Mumford and Sons. We build our towers and our Creator tears them down, but in our desolation there is hope. His Word is good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWza_On7ajs

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Did You Miss Me?

Greetings, loyal readers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWmEYq9oZxA

I hope there are some of you left, as I've been on hiatus for almost two whole weeks. This is clearly unacceptable, and I will be certain to provide you with quality content on a much more regular basis.

I'd like to think I have a legitimate excuse, though. I'm currently taking an interim course on writing that requires most of my creative energies. Essentially we choose a current or new writing project and focus heavily on it for the duration of the course. We do other exercises and such to improve our skills, but the main focus is on this project.

Now, I love writing. I really do. Whether it's fiction or nonfiction, for class or just for fun, I love fishing through the thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head and latching on to one, squeezing its essence and its life onto a page, refining it, polishing it, and bringing it to perfect completion.

And then immediately filing it away and never letting it see the light of day.

I hate letting others read my work. It freaks me out. I feel like I'm being evaluated. I can't even let people glance at my work over my shoulder. If you are privy to my writing process, you are a special individual indeed. The only reason I post this blog is because I know I will never have to be in the room while someone is reading it. I can hide safely behind a computer screen, unaware of whether people are even viewing it. It's a way for me to share without sharing.

People have told me I'm a good writer, and I believe them. Writing is my forte. But at the same time, it's not. I hate it and I'm terrified of it. Give me someone else's writing and I'll read that to whoever you want. But as soon as you ask me to use my own words, I lose it.

Needless to say, this class has been a struggle for me. I've had to read my writing to others on multiple occasions, when I'd rather choke on my eraser and die before letting anyone shed light on my work. It's one of the few things I will admit to being afraid of.

It's not the only thing I'm afraid of sharing sometimes. Even at a Christian campus, I can find it difficult to stand up for my faith. Whether it's a simple "I"m praying for you" or a louder "You're wrong. He's real and He loves you", I miss so many opportunities to share what it is I've claimed to profess for eighteen years. And in doing so, I lose that faith myself. What's the point of believing something if you don't practice it.

And the sad thing, there isn't a doubt in my mind that it's all real. I've experienced God firsthand, and I still can't even bring myself to tell that story. Why am I scared to share something I'm proud of?

So as I go into a new semester here at Trinity Christian College, I'm refocusing. I'm done being part of the backdrop. I'm going to start living like I really mean what it is I believe. And if I burn because of it, then so be it.

I'm also going to go get the mail. Mom's been bugging me about it. Sorry, Mom.

Song for today: Up In Flames by Icon For Hire. They're the kind of perfect Christian band that openly professes their mission and still reaches a widespread audience by making their music accessible to those outside the faith. They get what it means to seek the Lord and bless the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzNs4_wutG0

Well, I'm off to go write! Ah, it's good to be back.

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Heaven Meets Earth

What ever happened to martyrs?

When did Christians lose their backbone?

And when did we forget how to love?

When I look at Christianity today, I'm disappointed by what I see. I see two groups forming. One group (I'll call them "conservatives" for lack of a better name) is solid in the foundations of Christianity, but has forgotten how to love. The other group, the "liberals", is loving but has forgotten its roots. 

The first group is what you might call "conservative" Christians. This group stands firm in Biblical traditions, and despite heavy opposition they are still rock-solid in their faith, both in Christ and his commands. For this I give them a lot of respect. The dedication to God that it shows is incredible. They know their Bible, and they stand strongly by it. 

However, they're not doing much for evangelism. The conservatives come off as arrogant and hostile to newcomers. Outsiders are treated as inferior objects to be converted. A "one size fits all" plan is used to cause the newcomer to behave properly as a Christian, believe the creeds and ideals of a Christian, and then belong in the Christian community. Any potential convert must immediately agree with all of the ideals of the host church before they are accepted as an equal member of the community. I've felt this first-hand in churches where I did not fit the mold. It's hurtful and definitely not effective for ministry. 

The second group is the "liberal" Christians. They are less concerned with tradition and more concerned with loving those in and around their community. They are accepting of everyone, allowing them to reach a much wider audience than "conservative" Christians. Their ability to love is unparalleled, and for this I give them great respect. They follow a much more effective model of evangelism: the newcomer belongs in the community from the start, and through this sense of belonging explores and develops their belief, and then learns how to behave as a Christian. 

What I cannot respect is their tendency to cave towards whatever issue hits the political spotlight. "Liberal" Christians tend to tailor their faith to be whatever is most pleasing to the eye of the public, whether it agrees with God's Word or not. Scripture has lost its value. They aren't willing to offend anyone with their beliefs, even when those beliefs are Biblical. I've seen whole churches derail into bizarre half-churches that meet in fellowship but have lost the element that originally bound them together: Christ's message. 

This leaves us with a dilemma. One church loves but wavers, the other stands firm but doesn't love. 

So what's wrong? Where have we lost the way?

I think the key is politics.

We've allowed spiritual issues to be recast as agendas, and that makes them open for debate. Debate leads to division, and division leads to failure. Even our labels have bled into our spirituality. We have to be "conservative" or "liberal" Christians, "traditional" or "contemporary". 

So why can't we put our agendas aside and find middle ground? Why can't we just work for the good of each other?

Maybe you're like me. You prefer a contemporary service to a traditional one. How do you step into the middle ground? Remember that worship isn't about how you feel or whether you enjoy it. Worship is about bringing praise to our God. This is fundamental to our faith. You can't rewrite worship for the sake of what people want. Christianity doesn't change just to make people happy. We try to tone our beliefs back to make people comfortable, but that wasn't how Jesus did things. He pushed people out of their comfort zones and into his glorious light. 

Let's try something more complicated. Maybe you believe homosexuality is a sin. How can you step into the middle ground? Realize that regardless of the answer there, sexuality doesn't determine salvation. Faith does. In the words of Pope Francis, "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?" I have Christian friends who are gay, lesbian, and bisexual. If I believe that God will ignore their faith in Christ's salvation on account of their gender preference, then I don't believe in the God of the Bible at all. And if we say homosexuality is a sin, is God going to punish it more harshly than any other sin? Of course not! My gay Christian friends are going to heaven with me, or I'm going to hell with them. Simple as that. 

The point of the church isn't to wall ourselves in against the evils of the world, nor is it to be a social club that caters to its followers. It is meant to be an outpost of God's love, showing the world that there is hope even in the darkness. 

So where does that leave us? 

With a church that loves and leads. With a community that cares and communicates. Where rock-solid faith meets a belong/believe/behave mentality. Where newcomers are welcomed, treated as equals, and brought gently into a faith that can be nurtured to fruition. Where lines are drawn and then crossed. Where love is born.

Where heaven meets Earth. 

Song for tonight: How He Loves by David Crowder. I think we need to stop and remember this once and awhile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ

So take a chance. Step into the middle ground. See what God does.

I guarantee, He'll reveal great and terrible things. It won't be easy.

But it'll be amazing.

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Bored.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XViXch8BuT4

There are a grand total five people currently residing at Trinity Christian college.

Three of them live in my suite: me, my roommate Sherlock, and my suitemate Josh. Another lives a floor above. The last is my resident director Lauren.

So I'm bored.

BORED.

I've realized that the South Hall building is not my home. Sure, it's where I live, where I rest my head at night, where I hang out with all my friends, but it's just a building. The people who populate it are what make Trinity a home.

And none of them are here.

Don't get me wrong, it's great to be back. I've been gaming with Sherlock and got some dinner with Josh, but I've got to survive a full day. And I don't have that much to keep myself entertained. Netflix and Left 4 Dead 2 will only get you so far.

BORED.

It's a good thing I don't own a weapon. That wall is asking for it.

BORED.

Heck, maybe I'll go to bed early. Might as well pass the time efficiently.

I have no good songs to describe this level or boredom. So yeah.

I promise my next post will be quality. I just need to get back in the groove of college. And that means I need people.

So, in the words of the great Sherlock Holmes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B-UWeo11yI

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Dear Loyal Fans

Dear friends, fans, and general supporters of The Road Goes Ever On And On,

Today we hit the mark. That's right, folks!

4,000 VIEWS.

I don't win anything for said achievement, but I certainly feel accomplished. Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings!

If this is your first time on my blog, welcome! I hope you enjoy my ramblings!

If you read the first few posts, ignored it for awhile, and then just picked up this one, I will forgive you.

That's all for now, friends. Tune in next time for a post with actual content!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkExBV05_EY

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

The Oldest Question In The Universe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwj5KhF1Hhk

So this past year I have discovered somewhat of a new obsession.

You all know it as that crazy fandom that dresses up in ridiculously long scarves, bow ties, and 3D glasses, and is afraid of statues, shadows, short-term memory loss, and whisks.

I know it as Doctor Who.

My first encounters with this rather bizarre British show were few and far between. My good friend Jennifer would occasionally talk about it, and I would listen politely and ignore her suggestions to watch it. Once and awhile it would be on TV and Dad would stop flipping through the channels. He had watched the show in its early years and was intrigued by its continued success.

That brings us up to senior year. It had been a long, difficult year for me, and I hadn't been in touch with Jennifer in a while. We were just starting to reconnect, and I felt like watching her favorite show would be a good way to bridge the gap. This fact, combined with that of our newly upgraded Internet, gave me reason to watch the show.

To summarize: The Doctor (no name, just the Doctor) is an alien from the planet Gallifrey. In the new series, he is the last of his species (known as Time Lords) after a great war wiped them out. The Doctor has a vehicle called the Tardis which can travel through both space and time. He uses it to go on adventures, in which he meets all manner of alien life, including humans (specifically in the London area). Thirteen actors have played the Doctor, a fact that is accounted for in the show's mythos. When the Doctor is mortally injured, he can regenerate his cells, completely wiping his personality and appearance but not his memory, allowing the character of the Doctor to thrive for over 50 years of television history.

Now if that sounds lame, I totally understand.

But there's something about the show that makes it magical.

Maybe it's the cheesy special effects. Maybe it's the Doctor's clever one-liners. Maybe it's David Tennant's hair. Or maybe it's that on a deeper level, there's a Doctor in all of us.

The Ninth Doctor (the first of the 2005 rebooted series played by Christopher Eccleston) was fresh out of the Time War, during which he killed both the Time Lords and their enemies in an effort to save the universe from the destruction their fighting was causing. Wracked by guilt, the Ninth Doctor became a reluctant hero, fighting to protect the universe from making the same mistakes his people made. During this time he made friends who backed him up and brought him joy in a time of frustration and sadness.

For me, this could not have come at a better time. I had made some serious mistakes, and while they were behind me, I kept berating myself, telling myself I could have done better. I felt lost and alone, with very few close friends to back me up. But I found new friends, friends who accepted me and didn't care about my past. They taught me to let go and see what God had in store for my life.

The Tenth Doctor (my favorite played by David Tennant) was a much less brooding character. He was lighthearted, fun, heavily sarcastic, and generally quite adventurous. Ten, however, was a bit of a control freak. He interfered in events that he knew he shouldn't, tried to alter the fates of others, and even attempted to escape his own destiny. In this moments, he caused the damage he had hoped to avoid. He created the history he had been trying to prevent. Unlike previous Doctors, Ten was attached to his current form. His final words were "I don't want to go!"

I knew this feeling all too well. I had become too comfortable in my little Grandville bubble. I loved the life I had. It was the middle of summer, and I had a job, friends, and a social life. I had begun to second guess my decision to go to Trinity. Ten taught me that interfering with God's plan will only bring about more damage than good. I had to learn to let go, to allow God to take control of my life and lead me where I was meant to go.

The Eleventh Doctor (played by Matt Smith) was a quirky, clever, and occasionally clumsy character. He regularly wore a bow tie and occasionally a fez. Eleven loved adventure, travelling the cosmos mostly for entertainment. He never faced enemies with a plan, preferring to roll with the punches and ad-lib a solution to a problem, facing down his most deadly enemies (the Daleks) with a small cookie.

Though Ten is still my favorite, Eleven was my spirit Doctor this fall as I entered my first semester of college. I was unprepared, didn't know anyone, and within a month had ended up alone in a hospital with appendicitis. But not once did I second guess myself or think about turning back. Instead, I thought of every experience as an adventure and every problem as a temporary setback. Even my trip to the ER was fun, and I will always remember it fondly despite the excruciating pain I was in at the time. I feigned confidence all semester, and in truth, I felt more confident because of it. By simply refusing to see the bad in any situation, I had the best four months of my life.

It's funny how a silly show like Doctor Who can bring people together. Dad grew up on the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker. I was raised on Tennant, having watched several of his episodes before really getting into the show. My brothers, despite their initial distaste at the show's premise, are now diehard Matt Smith fans. All of the friends I made this summer were avid Whovians. Even a good number of my college friends are fans. One of the reasons I initially decided to hang out with Sierra was because she had Tennant's sonic screwdriver (an essential tool in any Time Lord's arsenal) in a mug on her desk. I had the exact same screwdriver in a mug on my desk. I knew at that moment that we were going to be good friends.

So like any good Whovian, I'm promoting my show and attempting to explain why it's so good. Granted, I've probably done a terrible job of doing so, but that's to be expected with a show like this. You just have to trust me. Take a leap of faith.

So now I prepare to head back to school for my second semester. I'm excited to see where the newest Doctor, Peter Capaldi, will be taking us all this spring. Time for another adventure!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki1YGSghqns ALLONS-Y!!!

Song for tonight: I Am The Doctor, Matt Smith's theme from Doctor Who Series 5. I wake up to this every morning because it's instantly energizing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D-QPDGhCtM

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Musings On The New Year (and Root Beer)

Happy New Year, everyone! 

... now what?

I always feel like the New Year is a little underwhelming after the excitement of Christmas. It's like an afterthought celebration. We go through an entire month of prep for Christmas, celebrate for about a week, take a day or two off, and then celebrate again. 

But what's so exciting about a new year? 

I mean, we restart our calendars, but what exactly are we celebrating? The Earth's survival throughout the tumultuous year of 2013? I suppose it was a big deal two years ago with the 2012 apocalypse brewing, but seriously. Were we really that worried that we weren't gonna make it?

That being said, I do like New Year's Eve. It's a chance to stay up ridiculously late and hang out with people I haven't seen in a while. Example: me, my little bros, and my friend Ben stayed up until 5:00 last night playing Minecraft. We party hard. 

So. 2013. It was a rollercoaster of a year. 

Yep. 

I could make this a deep, contemplative retrospective of the past 365 days, but that would take a long time and I'm tired. Suffice it to say that I'm more than happy with where life has taken me since this day back in 2013. Senior year was rough, but summer and college have been good to me.

You know what else is good for me? Root beer. Not in a health sort of sense, but I do enjoy a good root beer. Especially chilled in a glass bottle. That's how you know. 

I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this post was. I kinda lost track.

Speaking of lost things, I may or may not have lost my wallet this week. So there's that. Guess who gets to go pick up a new driver's license tomorrow? This guy. 

I want root beer. 

I also want sleep. But I'm too awake to sleep. But no one else in the house is still up. 

It's official. I need to get back to school where insomnia is the norm. 

Just a few more days until I return home. I've loved being here, but it's time to go.

Back to school, the land flowing with pizza and root beer. 

It's really cold down here in the basement. I'm going to go curl up in a dozen or so blankets and watch Sherlock. I have to review before the new season starts! 

Song for tonight: The Call, by Regina Spektor. This was featured at the end of the film adaptation of Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis and has always been a favorite of mine. Now that I'm living in two worlds of my own, it has taken on some very new meaning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNsQewlFtEs

Goodnight, everybody! 

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.